Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Of Dead Squirrels

It is going to happen no matter how much you try to prevent it. I have a pack of rescue dogs and they WILL hunt. My littlest and most committed hunter, Skye came home with an unfortunate squirrel. She was very proud of it but I thought later regretted her decision.

She strutted around with it but found that it took careful, vigilant guarding to protect ownership. She had to take it everywhere with her and warn with stuffed mouth to keep away.  When the others pretended  not to care she stood forlorn as guardian while they ran up and down the field and played. At biscuit time she had to forgo the pleasure b/c her squirrel had her chained. 

This gave me much food for thought. As the day wore on the poor squirrel, minus tail, got ragged and motheaten.  And Skye was still defending it to the death and not getting to do any of her usual persuits. Worst of all, she couldn't be part of the gang. To be an outsider is the worst thing they can imagine. I wondered whether she just wanted to be done with it. But she could not let go.

I began to think about this in my personal life. I wondered what I held onto like that! It was easy - my pride.  It isn't physical things anymore - but my standing, my dignity, my worth or whatever you want to call it. And like the radded squirrel, the more I defend it the uglier it becomes. When I grab onto my destiny, my worth, my reason for being then it surely grabs a hold of me! I defend it and become an outcast (I become so self-centered), when I hold it in my teeth I become very bad tempered (b/c I am worried about sustaining it),  guarding it makes me forgo the pleasure in a simple day.  The answer? I relinquish it to the One who gives it in the first place!

I realize that no matter what my personal dignity suffers (do I feel unappreciated?), am I unjustly maligned (who told that lie about me?), when I worry that God doesn't love the fool that I am (simiple depression), I can't do what I am supposed to do (I fail so often) - you get the idea that the squirrel is very much manhandled - ok womanhandled! So I am taking a page from Skye's book - it's not worth it!!!!

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