Ever thought about how our language has been copped? Key words have been stolen in order to confuse us. God created us male and female for a reason. Formerly the word sex (and still is) a noun depicting what gender we are. Sex isn't something we do, it is something we are. And that is very key in the way we are able to let God complete us with Himself. Theology of the body brought this to the forefront of my mind and heart after many years of it's truth pinging off of my soul.
If I understand sex as a noun, then I am of the female sex. My gender is not a mistake but the path by which I will only understand Jesus Christ. I realized (and you might find this odd) that as Jesus is male - the perfect God/Man - He alone can fulfill me as a woman. If fact that is exactly what the Creator had in mind when He formed me in my mother's womb. My femininity is how I can love Jesus. Every woman as such is a tabernacle - capable of producing an immortal being. Jesus is the only man who can and wants to fill this tabernacle with Himself. I am only a complete and new woman by His inhabiting my womb as such, the very being inside of me. How he completes the male gender I know not. However, I feel that for the first time that I am not on the outside wistfully looking in but inside Christ Himself. He lives so fully within me now that to go to Eucharist is consummation.
Now if in your mind, as it was in mine, that sex is a verb and a stolen, corrupted verb at that, this whole reality is a bit disgusting. That sex is a noun is the key. Explore it yourself. The Father created us male a female so that we might find full communion not only with Him but with each other. What is gender in me, my heart, my reactions, my deepest longings.....Jesus fulfills these every bit as wonderfully as the Song of Songs....I didn't understand that because I was corrupted in my very being myself.
This is all new, I have pink skin, I have a vulnerability that I have never known. But Jesus is real, this direction, this surrender is growing more strongly every day. When I said, early on to Him, "Why did I take so long?" He replied, "You were worth waiting for." And I said later on, "What if it goes away?" And He replied, "Over my dead body."
So much becomes clearer now and so many puzzle pieces fit. Further in and Higher up is my cry....as I throw off the shackles of this earth and all my rubbish....