A Farmer’s Our Father


It is a rosy misty morning and the sun hasn’t yet thrown off his blanket. Yet he is sending his harbinger rays up over the sleepy trees. The roosters have been up for two hours pinging one cock a doodle do after another in some kind of macho contest. It is quiet on the deck as I draw in a deep blessed breath….and then I am spotted. Goat uproar ensues. Oh well….time to pray.

I cross myself to begin my daily rosary. I get through the Apostle’s Creed before I leave my deck. So onto the prayer that Jesus taught us Himself. Our Father…..oh wow, look at that water trough, I just filled it. Hmmm it needs scrubbing this time. Uh – where was I? Our Father who art…..no! quit climbing on me Kizu! I don’t have any grain. Give over Meko! Ahhhhh!! I just got in the middle of a tussle. How I hate to get butted in the knees. Oh – where was I? Our Father who art in heaven….hey get out of the chicken feed. Did you open the food door again? I guess I will have to screw it shut….

On my journey to the garage for a screw and driver I recollect. Oh! Our Father who art in heaven. The dogs! I forget to feed you didn’t I? Sorry ‘bout that! Here, come and get it. No! you can’t eat the raw meat inside. Take it out! I don’t care if your afraid of the rooster! Ahhh….no take it OUT! I shut them outside. Where was I? Oh, Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy Name. Thy kingdom come….oops I forgot to put the solar food drier out to charge up….got to do it now or I’ll forget. The sun is now making himself known over the tree tops.

Oh glorious Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy Name! The sun is so beautiful, the grass so green. My lovely lady trees are still delighting in the coolness of the morning. Chickens strut over the meadows, dogs chase the heron fishing in the pond, and my horses graze desultorily at the wet grass. Where was I? Oh….Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy Name! Thy kingdom come…thy will be done…oh where is the world, where is my country going? As I trek on down to the barn I ponder the fact that the Father does have it under control. Oh! I forgot to screw the food door shut on the chicken coop! U turn and tramp up the soaking grass! Where was I? Oh! Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy Name! Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is….all right Dozer dog what do you have in your mouth! Have you been raiding the fire pit again? Drop it…it’s plastic and will kill you. I don’t care if it smells like chicken!

There the coop is fixed. The hens are milling around waiting for me to throw them some feed….I guess too lazy to walk inside the coop. With a lopsided grin I realize that with me around they don’t need to lift a claw! Oh…Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy Name! Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day – all right Bo I hear you. In fact the whole sleeping neighborhood can hear that bray – heeeeeee hawwwwwwwwwwwww! I’m coming!

Determined to get the Our Father finished I realize I just have to concentrate…..Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy Name! Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven! Give us this day our daily bread….all right donkey, your stomach is touching your backbone – could have fooled me. I’m coming, I’m coming! Uh Oh – my farmer friend is here and I haven’t gotten the gate open! Just a minute! I’m coming!!!!! Where was I? Can’t remember….gasping I cry out more than recite, Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy Name! Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we…”

“No Mr Heflin,” I wasn’t saying anything! “Thanks for coming so soon to cut the field. Okay have a great day!”

HmmmmmmmmmmwherewasI? I catch my breath and as I walk slowly to the barn and the waiting amigos (a pony, donkey and horse) I say slowly and distinctly, Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name! Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven, give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us….I see out of the corner of my eye that my sly shepherd dog has escaped through the front gate and out into the great big world with undisguised glee. Oh well, where was I?

True Love

And when love's storm does break on a man's spirit, then, children, let him not stop to think fretfully on his past sins or anxiously question about his humility or about anything else except this: Am I rightly responsive to God's love as it does its work in me here and now? For now a man must battle with love while suffering coldness of heart and from a sense of total abandonment. Oh, let him five up to love in all fidelity of heart, stripped of everything that is not purely love of God, his soul destitute and miserable for love's sake. Have deep and constant longings for God's love; have firm trust in God; keep yourself true and firm in love. In due time you shall be granted in one hour as many graces as in another way you would acquire in a lifetime. Fr John Tauler (1361)

May it be done unto me according to your Word!

Humility

What is the virtue of humility? What is this choice, lovely virtue? Oh, the demon knows, and how ambitious he is to destroy it! He instills into the minds of even those who should know, the most unfair thoughts about this virtue. He would make it the quality of weak and craven souls. He would make it a quality of the despised, but humility is a virtue of courage. It takes courage to be humble. It is a virtue of truth and justice. Humility is a great virtue because it safeguards so many other virtues.
Now all that humility is, is simply the truth. It is recognizing our real relation with God. Humility does not consist in denying what we are or denying what we have, but attributing what we are and have to Him Who gave it. Humility reminds us, impresses upon us, causes us to realize that what we have, we have from God: that is, everything that is lovable, attractive, beautiful, useful, desirable-we have that from God. It is not ours and humility tells us that it is foolish to take complacency in that which is not ours. We have nothing of ourselves except our dirty, nasty, filthy inclinations; those God did not give us, but everything else belongs to Him. Life, grace of manners, health, talent, strength, success-not one of these things are ours.
St. Paul says: "What hast thou that thou hast not received? And if thou has received, why dost thou glory, as if thou hadst not received it?” (l Cor.4:7) Now, that is the searching question. Why are you self-complacent or why are you disdainful of others less favored than yourself. Why do you introduce a distinction between yourself and your unfortunate brother? God has no respect of persons. What you have is not yours by any title of your own. Now that is the only work of humility-to teach us that one lesson thoroughly.
Though you may be secure in the grace of the Holy Spirit today, all that is between you and the fallen angel is the grace of God. Only for God you would be what he is. Only for God you would be nothing. We have that solicitude of God's love for us. That is all it is. You know, when we think of these things it is not difficult to say, "Lord, I am not worthy that thou shouldst enter under my roof; but only say the word and my soul shall be healed.” (Roman Missal) Listening to humility's voice we say, "O God, be merciful to me a sinner.” (Lk. 18:13)
Oh, you see, this virtue fills us with compassion, with pity, with charity for all and we fear for ourselves, and we come down quickly from the mountain of our own conceit.(l) Do pray always that we will be more humble-less in confidence of ourselves and stronger in confidence of God's goodness and mercy.(2)
Fr Judge

It is easy to concentrate on the me I hate and ignore the me God created. How busy is the mind on "doing" so that I might present my credentials to God! It only matters what I am through and through. Why do I persist in doing when He calls me to be? If I yield to the "be" then all else will be accomplished. Please, Lord, give me the grace to trust You and not my busy work and paper virtues. I delight in being nothing but Your child and subject to Your Holy Will and desires. This is the only true happiness and might I say safe position in this treacherous world. Without Your Grace Jesus I am incapable of opening my arms on the cross you have prepared for me. Please help me to do this for your people.

Inclinations

To separate ourselves from the crowd is even necessary for salvation. If we would make ourselves and our dear ones safe we must determine to live in the midst of men but not as of them, to profess maxims opposed to theirs and to confound worldly-wise maxims as the Magi did. There is no alternative; for either, like the Wise Men, we must sacrifice our inclinations to God or, like the assembly of sinners, God to our inclinations.

Wow - now that is a mouthful from Fr Judge! I was thinking the other day from a passage from the epistle of John when he says that if we dwell in the Son of God we have life, but if we don't then we have no life. So, I thought, what is everyone doing out there? They are existing if they don't live for God. Our eternal destiny is what matters and how we spend our lives in service and love to Him who died for us. How can there be any other life worth living? I feel sorry for all who just exist b/c they breath. How empty to just go from one thing to another to survive and hating it all the while? Momentary pleasures and distractions provide a bitter taste in the end that one can't spit out. Oh Lord may more come to know you and blessed triumph of death - your Love!

Where is Your Child?

My first goat Alf came to me on a cold spring day. He was two days old. I held him in my arms and cuddled his soft, warm body. He looked very much like Bambi. An emergency call from a friend brought the baby to me and I began my adventure in goat herding.

His mother came with him on loan. Her udder was malfunctioning so I learned to milk her and feed Alf from a bottle. He was so cute butting the bottle as he would an udder. This brings the milk down in an udder but sends the baby bottle flying out of the unwary hand! Still it was great fun watching him eagerly suck at the warm liquid.

When I took mom and baby on walks, Alf would cavort around in the funniest ways. He would suddenly jump and twist like an acrobat. Every leaf needed inspecting and nibbling. Fallen trees were great tightropes to be conquered. I enjoyed watching him sampling all the verdure.

Fast forward this image about three years. Adorable little Alf is a two hundred pound buck. His horns remind me of a weightlifter’s biceps. He stands as high as our pony. And does he stink! As an unaltered buck and herd sire, he is quite proud of his musk. In fact, he believes that because the girl goats love it that I must also! He takes every chance to rub himself all over me. The stench can be overpowering, especially on a warm day.

Then there is rut season. My cuddly little Alf bellyaches day and night. The raucous noise echoes throughout the farm until I am crazy. His other goal is to destroy all my gates by using his elegant horns as a battering ram. (Pun intended). There are many other things that are unprintable in his repertoire.

Juxtapose this with my childhood. When I attended St Anthony’s in the fifties, I got to go to Mass every morning. Because of fasting restrictions, my parents had to make my breakfast and lunch. I remember my mother remonstrating with me one day when I repeatedly brought back my breakfast untouched. My reply was, “Jesus fills me up. I’m not hungry.”

Later, in fourth grade, while singing hymns at St Pius Catholic school I felt such an ecstasy of love for God. We were singing “Holy God, We Praise Thy Name”. I felt sure that there was no greater place to be or any other greater song to sing than that at that moment.

When I received my first Holy Communion I was so excited I got sick. I barely made it through Mass.

Remembering these things used to cause me great sorrow. Where did that child go? I have always loved God but where did that purity and innocence go? How did I fall off the track and trade my Beloved for other’s opinions and attention? It seemed I could never go back. The path back to innocence and great love was barred.

But Jesus says to me, “Become like a little child.”

“What?” I reply, “You mean I can go back? I can become what You once made me?”

My childhood memories are not photographs but realities of who I am and who Jesus made me to be. This is what is offered. When He told Nicodemus that we must be born again, this is what He offered. It is a return to all that was best and holy in me when I was unspoiled.

As I pondered this truth today, I couldn’t help but feel a kinship with Alf. He annoys me terribly, especially when I have to repair his damage and wash my clothes. But he now reminds me that I don’t have to remain smelly and destructive with sin. The Lord of Life loves me enough not to just repair me, but transform me. Where is your child?