This morning as LuLu bobbed ahead of me on the morning walk I was thinking about animals. Go figure! Acutally I was composing in my mind the final chapter of a book I am working on. It had to do with knowing. There is an interesting point in a relationship with a horse when they accept you and their home. You can see it in their eyes. When they first come they hold back commitment - they don't risk their comfort, their trust.
When I traded my first horse for Max it was a devastating decision for me. I get attached. When I found out the "good" home I was promised was a lie I mourned my decision and worried for years about where my good old Arabian had ended up. I decided right away to not get attached to this big, red, roman nosed horse. And he felt the same way. Because of his injuries he had been passed around and the year before I got him was stuffed away at a college somewhere to be politely neglected.
No, I wasn't going to commit. I wasn't going to go through the gut wrenching separation again! As I looked at Max in the stall the cold, blank look in is eyes assured me we were on the same path. As I came out regularly to work him I saw a change take place. At some point I saw recognition in the almost unreadable eyes. Then I saw that he was looking for me (not always happily) but still he had crossed the bridge of commitment. He had reached out. At that moment I realized that I had already met him halfway. We were suspended over the turbulent waters of chance. We were willing to risk everything for this relationship. I saw for the first time what I was blind to before: the knowing in a horse's eyes. They changed.
You can have all the belief, the doctrines, the dotted i's, the crossed t's in the world but until you know - I mean come to know - the person of God then you are just stuck on the far side of the bridge. Religion is ridiculous without meeting Him, letting him in, taking the risk. I stood in the stall waiting for proof, waiting to climb out of neglect, of being passed around, not finding a home. But then He came - never wavering, never leaving, always loving.....and that's what Max taught me about relationships. Unless a seed fall into the ground and die it remains alone.....in all my relationships, no matter what, Max taught me to reach out and take the risk. It is pretty funny that with all my intelligence that it took him to start the relationship! Thanks Max.
Picture of Hannah our new guard giant dog above. She is the sweetest!